Softly, softly.
your mind, ready
“What is one to do with such moments, such memories, but cherish them? Who knows what is beyond the known? And if you think that any day the secret of light might come, would you not keep the house of your mind ready? Would you not cleanse your study of all that is cheap, or trivial? Would you not live in continual hope, and pleasure, and excitement?”
― Mary Oliver, Winter Hours
🕸️
Webs on a trail in Washington State
Quiet & Alive
I’m learning something about the trees in January,
So quiet, yet so alive.
a million tiny movements, imperceptible but important.
Acceptance in all stages,
Purpose, no matter how small.
illusionary
Feels like you’ve been here before,
illusionary doors,
unsettled stagnant scores.
the gateway
the feeling that you might end up somewhere else entirely,
depending on where you step,
to veer off trail is to find yourself losing yourself,
which, depending on who you ask,
can be lovely
or alarming.
superfluous facts
Rhythms
resolve
There are some very large letting goes to do:
people, places, honeyed and battered phases of life
there are some even larger letting goes to do:
anger, tears, parts of yourself that leave with no return.
have a past.
Everything that’s happened cannot be held today- Cleo Wade
Hello Again
October was a gloriously beautiful month. The fall colors lingered, in no rush, despite the winds, rains, and ramping up to the holiday season. I didn’t photograph it to the extent I wanted. My camera wasn’t pulled out for much other than client work.. but somehow, despite the many faces I saw, print orders processed, extracurriculars attended, I felt engaged this last month.
I didn’t blog. One day missed turned to two, and so on, but here I am again. Not coming up for air, but coming out to share success. My hope was to enjoy and be present, nourish what was around me, and what came to me. I wanted to do the best I could in a crazy season. I did that. And it was accomplished by letting go some of the things that once felt necessary for mindfulness.
Obviously there moments of stress, or overwhelm.. it wasn’t all pumpkin spice and brown sugar. I didn’t sleep enough for one. AND, I was pretty short tempered with schedules at times. But I’m proud of the lack of dissociating. Hoping to carry this into my next season, the season of thanks!
So, Gratitude for being here, friends!
Portals
Hello & Goodbye.
Forever yours,
September
September
Maple turning in the gardens at Hatley Castle, British Columbia
Bound/Influenced
What it feels like to be a wave
Influenced by a small thing you can never touch,
Pushed and pulled always in motion.
To hold such force..
But only within the confines of
That small thing that binds you.
That thing that is smaller than you.
That thing you can never touch.
Maple Silhouette
A wish of noticing,
perspective, prayed for, yielded these thoughts:
Those small things that continue, unassuming and quiet, have their own say.
The beauty of man’s time spent on a monument to concepts cannot overtake that natural diligence of a maple seed growing slowly but surely against a backdrop of “progress”.
heart tangles
If I loved you less, I may be able to talk about it more.
– Emma, Jane Austen
the hymn
let her go to the sea
the why of photography
As many people know, I got my start in a high school darkroom. Something magic unfolded in those chemicals. I would leave 2nd period with my hands smelling like sulfur, and pupils dilated from 90 minutes in the dark. A good student, I flowed between subjects, english, french, chemistry, and calculus, conforming to whatever in the journey of getting an A (well, not in calculus, that was a bit of a disaster). Photography was a true outlet, a place to explore the concept of artistic voice. I found ways out of other classes, phoning in responsibilities to get back in the darkroom.. it may have been my first true act of rebellion in a system I’d been in full compliance with.
Exploration kept me engaged. But over the years, I’ve been frustrated by freelance work, not sure how to stand out in crowds of talented creatives and professionals. To be real for a minute, the business end of photography hasn’t been natural.. My most recent venture in the world of boutique school portraits comes close. How I feel watching a kiddo be relaxed in front of the camera has rekindled my efforts for client work. Each student presents a new connection, an opportunity to be curious, exercise my silly streak, and offer a fun alternative to the assembly line of portraits we all knew as kids.
And then, there’s my art. The images I shoot in an effort to connect or find meaning in.. ***gestures at everything*** Life is all the experience, both positive and negative. I don’t have to tell you it can feel overwhelming to be human. It’s easy to hop into dread and anxiousness with the modern set of problems we face. This chaos feels like too much to find order in, even though we humans have been performing this stunt a long time.
My personal mantras as I’ve navigated purpose, meaning, my roles as a partner, mom, and photographer are these: as long as we have breath, there is possibility, and inherent to life, there is an ultimate sense of balance. The act of equilibrium is real. There will be highs for every low, and vice versa. We may not see the entire set up or what lies on either side of the scale. But we can rest assured it exists.
Photography is the ultimate medium of possibility, balance, or flux. Each photo excursion brings an opportunity to witness this spectrum of life, or even create within it. I love that. As an artist, finding comfort in possibility, rather than fear, is something I hope to keep sharing with the world.
I’m taking off next week to photograph new spaces and places, so it’ll be quiet here. Last time my family planned this we were thwarted by sickness. We’ve decided as a collective that NOTHING is getting in the way this time. I’ll be back at the end of August with hopefully more images to share, and maybe less words.. I don’t know! But one thing’s for sure, I’m pretty excited at the possibilities next week will afford 🤠
All the Pretty Photographers...
Gathered in one spot with thousands of dollars (2012 dollars, but still) in equipment, to capture (oh yes, I had to use that word) the space needle/skyscraper/Rainer sunset trifecta, just to the left of this frame. The pinnacle of Seattle photography! I did get my own version that night, but honestly, I like this one best.
Farewell to 52 Frames
Something different for you today, kiddos! Enjoy :-)
The year was 2020, the time was covid.. I had just pulled myself out of some rough mental places in 2019, juggling two young girls, attempting a photography business, and dealing with unresolved postpartum and life issues. The world experienced a series of unprecedented events, one right after another, leaving us all collectively grasping for any sense of normal in a mess of germs and hatred.
My own reaching found 52 Frames. An online community for photographers, who took on weekly prompts to learn, meet other creatives, and try new techniques. Members ran the gamut of seasoned professionals, to grandmas with iPhones. I loved the diversity in perspectives and experience in a space that kept my craft close while the world sorted itself out. So in 2021, I jumped in. It was a great place for creative accountability. With each week’s new submission, the photo streak number increased, you didn’t quit! Wahoo for a good metric!
Before I knew it, I had completed a full year of 52 images, well on my way to developing an artistic style from the weekly practice. It was a struggle, but it continued to feel something akin to the high you get after running a race. Hard, but happy in hindsight. Another year began, I started to grow confidence in myself as an artist, posting elsewhere on places like IG and Glass. My exposure to other creatives outside of 52 Frames increased. I started meeting these communities in real life, making friends, learning, and being inspired.
Fast forward to 2024.. the world is changed, my kids have grown, and with them, responsibilities outside of creative photography. My client work, while slow, is expanding. Free time for creative expression is harder and harder to come by. Kid activities are demanding more travel time. Our garden/property responsibilities aren’t shrinking either. Many things to prioritize.
And so, last week, after 188 consecutive weeks I said goodbye to the practice.
Did I take my commitment to the whole endeavor too seriously? Yes, yes I did! But I’m massively grateful. So many of the images you see on this blog are directly and indirectly related to time contributing and learning from the platform. I’m happy I kept going, incredibly thankful for all the ideas I now have, and the skills I’ve cultivated. There were and are constraints, but 52 Frames helped me see those as a tool, and not a burden.. well, at least some of the time ;-)
The community is absolutely lovely as well. I could go on and on there, but I’ve already rambled enough. If any of you are reading, thank you so much, for all the time and care and kindness you’ve shown (the internet doesn’t have to be a bad place)!
⚡In summation⚡ if you’re looking for creative resistance training, or help on the journey to finding your “why” with photography, I cannot recommend 52 Frames enough.
On the schedule for tomorrow, less talk, more image! Thanks for reading!
Week's End
Picked tulips outside a cafe in Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA,
reflecting how I feel at the end of a very full week.